Gabele: Festivus for the Rest of Us, 2020 Covid Edition

By Krystle Gabele

Well, we have made it to the 2020 edition of Festivus … so Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us (for those who don’t know, this is a tradition from Seinfeld).

This year, I have been trying to limit my complaints and be grateful – which I am – but I am a sucker for tradition, so here we go.

1. Dan Snyder (you make this list every year), why can’t you just find a name for the Washington Football Team? I mean I submitted a few good ones (and a few choice ones), and you have yet to decide on a team name.

2. The U.S. Postal Service (especially the grinches in the Baltimore distribution center) – riddle me this: a person sends a Christmas card at the beginning of December to Taneytown, Maryland. It is a card with a gift card inside. The card has yet to arrive. It is probably safe to assume that the gift card has been swiped by the grinches in Baltimore or somewhere else.

3. The toilet paper and hand sanitizer hoarders. Picture this: at the beginning of the pandemic, we actually had to fight for the last pack of toilet paper and the last can of Lysol. This was an early Feats of Strength. You really don’t need 100 rolls of toilet paper and 56 bottles of hand sanitizer.

4. COVID-19. Last, but not least, I despise COVID-19. I have some not-so-PG-13 words regarding the Hell we have been placed through on a social, emotional, and economic (not personally, but from the government) front. I lost a friend and family member to this virus. I loathe when I see my child not being able to be around other children and his emotional health being impacted by this. I hate that I can’t live a normal life, one without fear – for if you sneeze or cough, you may be viewed as having this virus. I despise that many small businesses have been forced to close shop with zero support – in part with Congress (and state and local legislatures) sitting on their butts, pointing fingers at one another, and not working together to bring a common sense approach to helping small businesses prosper.

Also, wear the damn mask correctly (cover the nose) and, quoting Maryland Governor Larry Hogan – my favorite Governor – it saves lives.

**I did not mean to turn this into a political musing, so let’s turn this airing of the grievances around and bring back the levity again.**

5. Gingerbread houses. Okay, I am not an architect. I was always the child who liked to build outside the blueprints on these kits. I mean the Gingerbread Husband and Wife need to live in houses that are more functional. They provided their options and now are living in a van down by the river. When it comes to this year’s kit, I spent the first 15 minutes cursing over the house collapsing. It was so 2020, and I said, “Bye Felicia.” I walked away and the house looks like an 84 Lumber yard in disarray.

Hopefully, in 2021, we will be able to complement someone on their smile, rather than telling someone how much you like their mask.

Happy Festivus! Merry Christmas!

Krystle Weeks Gabele was owner of the former Crystal Clear Conservative blog in the Virginia conservative blogosphere. She and her family now reside in Texas.

Photo by Krystle Gabele