Job Creators in Portsmouth – Snow Luck

Biggest story in the newspaper today was about two enterprising kids who thought a big snowstorm was an entrepreneurial opportunity.

Turns out, no one was buying.

They got their shovels and knocked on doors offering to shovel for cash.

“Damarion, the self-proclaimed “business manager” of the duo, knocked on the first door: “Can we do your porch for $20?”

An awkward smile, a head shake, a closed door, and on to the next one…

At the next house, a man came to the door. He swiftly rejected the offer and started to shut the door; Damarion blurted out in desperation: “We’ll do it for $1 each!”

The answer was the same…

After almost two hours and not a single bite, the two boys slung their shovels over their shoulders and headed for home.”

Boy, did they do it all wrong.

First, there are several City Councilman running for re-election who need campaign contributions. That may lead to a visit with the Economic Development department. See, if they shovel in one of Portsmouth’s “Incentive Zones”, you can’t imagine the kinds of financial rewards that might be a phone call away.

Of course, the Commissioner of Revenue will want that BPOL tax with your business license and those shovels are now tangible business property. Cha-ching!

Better check DEQ while you’re at it, since you’ll probably be accused of “upsetting the natural ecosystem” and you’ll at least have to have your shovels inspected by some agency.

And what will you do with all that snow! You’ll have to answer for that. Can’t just pile it on the curb. Waste disposal will be after you.

Of course, you’ll probably be fined for violating the Fair Labor Standards Act since you’re both under 14. And I hope you were planning to give the Federal Government their cut of that $20 in Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid and Corporate taxes.

And since an all-cash visit is just waiting to get a visit from the IRS, I would quickly affix an Obama sticker to your shovel. Might make the audit go a bit easier. Just don’t offer any Tea.

Gentlemen, you might actually be considered lucky that your business generated no profit. The things this country does to attack the profitable and reward the failing, you may now qualify for a huge government subsidy for your failed business.

Congratulations on learning the new American Dream.