Originally published in the Daily Press.
And, as you gain more friends (in my case, more than a thousand over four years), you feel pretty good…until you realize they’re not your friends!
I opened my front door and let these people into my house, yet some of them were yelling at me, some remarked that I have terrible taste, and even others showed up nearly naked! How rude!
So, over this past weekend, I said, “Enough is enough!” Things had spiraled out of control. It was time to reclaim my space!
But “unfriending” nearly a thousand people on Facebook is unwieldy. They don’t list your friends in alphabetical order and they don’t allow you to perform a bulk action, such as “unfriend.” And, when you do unfriend someone, they re-order your friend list, making it difficult to remember where you were.
So, here is a piece of advice: when you do “friend” someone — categorize them. Use the “close friend”, “friend”, “acquaintance”, or other list functions (you can even create your own, such as “church”, etc.). That way, when you post, you can select a specific “audience”.
For me, I thought I’d just create another account — a “do over” on Facebook. Everything that I had learned in the previous four years would keep me from making the same mistakes.
I was wrong.
I made a mistake almost immediately when I thought I’d simply import my Gmail contacts and select the folks I wanted to add to the new account.
Unfortunately, the ‘friend’ invitation was sent to all 700-plus of my Gmail contacts: I’m sure it was Facebook’s fault and nothing I did!
I quickly deleted the ‘new’ personal page before too many people saw the invite, which leads me to another bit of advice: Facebook does not want you to go.
The easiest way to delete an account is through the help menu. Search “how to delete my account”. As you progress through three or four validation screens, sort of like a trip with Dante, you will eventually be able to delete your account — which you then have 14 days to reclaim.
For me, that means 14 days before I can try, again, to create a truly ‘personal’ account.
My next thought was to go in the opposite direction — create a public page. This would be a place for adoring fans to see my columns, podcasts, and random political ideas throughout the week without restricting anyone’s ability to “like” me or force me to see them (can you feel the love?). I thought that doing this would also permit me to deactivate my current account.
Good idea, right?
Not so fast! I realized that by deactivating my current account, I wouldn’t be able to see all of the great ideas and information shared by my friends! My columns and website will suffer! The world will come to a complete halt!
My wife thinks I’m just nosy and addicted.
So, now, I will have three pages to maintain on Facebook — one public page, one for me to monitor, and one for the truly personal info.
Or, I could just stumble away from the keyboard into the daylight, make some friends, and talk to people.
My column runs every other Wednesday in the Daily Press Opinion pages. Get your digital membership today!
Twitter: @jrhoeft | Facebook: http://facebook.com/jrhoeft | Web: http://jrhoeft.com
