Oh, to be able to roast political reporter Jeff Schapiro!

Oh, to be in the line-up to roast Richmond Times-Dispatch reporter Jeff Schapiro, that bow-tie-wearing godfather of Virginia politics, in a fundraiser event to be held in Richmond on May 29!

However, my resume doesn’t quite make it. To be considered for the enviable position as roaster, one needs credentials a little more impressive than “blogger” since the two stars — besides Jeff, of course — will be former Virginia Governors George Allen (R) and Tim Kaine (D) who are currently locked in a battle for U.S. Senator. Oh, and also former Governor Gerald Baliles (D).

That’s a little out of my league.

Of course, Schapiro has enjoyed a bit of a roasting already from the conservative blog Bearing Drift, most notably from colleague Norm Leahy, as the two have engaged their sharply pointed pens — er, keyboards — in a duel of words over the years. I know better than to get in the middle of that one!

Though I often disagree with Mr. Schapiro, his column is one of the first I seek in my hard-copy Sunday Times-Dispatch. (It used to be former editorial page editor Ross Mackenzie until he stopped writing.) And I’m always amused at press events such as last fall’s visit by Texas Governor Rick Perry when the younger journalists jockeyed for position to get as close to the candidate as possible … and there was Schapiro standing behind them, ear cocked toward the subject at hand, calmly jotting notes.

For some unknown reason Mr. Schapiro has tweeted out my Virginia photos on several occasions … pictures of mountains and fields and apple orchards and back roads … like this one from February:  #rva #vagov A great vista — kinda makes you forget about the VA Capitol HT I was as surprised as anyone.

But I’ve got to say that, as great as the event will be with the three former governors, I would love to see a roast between Mr. Schapiro and the Bearing Drift contributors, and who else to head it up than Schapiro nemesis Norm Leahy. I can only imagine the wickedly delightful barbs that would come from such an event.

Back to the VPAP fundraiser: It will be held May 29th in Richmond with tickets going for $300 a pop. VPAP stands for Virginia Public Access Project, a bipartisan website that keeps track of where the money goes in the political arena. If you’ve got the $300, it’s sure to be the most entertaining event that night in Richmond and, probably, the entire Commonwealth.

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