Lingamfelter: Other People’s Resolutions
Having settled on my New Year resolutions (which I am happily observing with varying degrees of success,) I thought I would share a few resolutions that others may want to consider. Presumptuous? Yes. Most folks can figure out on their own how to improve their lives. Some even without the assistance of enumerated resolutions. That said, consider these. You might even find yourself adopting a few of them or possibly being tempted to pass them along to another whom you think might benefit for adopting them.
1. Return your shopping cart to the cart corral: Yes, yes, I know you are in a hurry and—sure—someone who will need a cart will likely take your thoughtlessly discarded one from the parking lot island where you left it. Never mind that they learned as a child—unlike you—to put their toys away after play time. They also learned that you don’t dispense with a shirt by throwing it on the floor, but I digress. However, is it really THAT hard to return the cart so it doesn’t take up a parking spot in the lot or roll carelessly into the door of another person’s new car? Do us all a favor. Take the whopping 60 additional seconds out of your pressing day to put the cart where it belongs.
2. Turn your phone off: We are so connected to our phones for just about everything. I look at mine frequently throughout the day. But there are times when I set it aside to do other things. One such time is when I exercise in the gym. If you are one of those people who insists on talking on your phone while you are on an exercise machine next to another person who has utterly no interest in your gossip or fantasy football picks, just put it away. Likewise, not everyone wants to hear you sing a song you are listening to in your earphones, particularly if you can’t carry a tune in a bucket.
3. Paperwork, not email: I am looking forward to the day that restrooms have cell phone disabling technology. Better stop here.
4. The ATM lane is not a parking lot: This is easy. Once you get your cash, pull forward to organize your pocketbook or wallet or plan the rest of your day.
5. Right on red turns: You can actually do this in Virginia unless the sign say “no.” Most don’t say “no” so please make the turn (of course only after coming to a complete stop as required by law and your high school driving instructor, Mr. Thumbscrew).
6. Turn signals: It’s the little stick on the left side of your steering wheel. It lets the rest of us know what direction you plan to go before you swoop into the lane ahead of another driver like the Blue Angels doing a midair maneuver.
7. Filling up your tank: No, I’m not talking about a stop at you local watering hole, but rather getting gas. Yes, I know that you can set the gas handle to pump until it kicks off while you go in the store to shop for several things. But remember, someone behind you needs to refuel also and really could care less if the cappuccino machine was difficult to operate or the checkout line was long. Simple fix. Fill up, move to an open parking spot, then go in the store.
8. Parking lots: The white lines on the ground are there for a reason. To park between, not over or across.
9. Stop lights: I think 3. above has a potential application here.
10. Chill out: People are going to do all of these irritating things throughout 2022. But smile. You are at least able to smile, which means you are alive and can enjoy the blessings of life, even with people who leave their shopping carts in the ONLY parking spot available. At least you have one readily at hand to take into the store.
Now that that’s off my chest, I plan to spend the rest of my day observing my resolutions, including the 9 of 10 I have not yet engaged. Maybe I should resolve to be resolved?