Just Shut Up, Corey

Corey, if you’re listening, do us all a favor.

Shut your mouth.

Seriously. I figure the only way to get through to you is to talk the way you talk, so forgive me if I offend any snowflakes by speaking bluntly. Being nice about this has gotten all of us basically nothing, so it’s time to be blunt.

Why am I telling Corey Stewart to shut up?  Simple – because nobody cares what “advice” he has to offer Ed Gillespie.  Nobody cares what you think, Corey.

You lost.  You’re a loser.  You came how close to winning?  Yeah, nobody cares.  That’s what you said about Ed Gillespie almost beating Mark Warner, isn’t it?

You think nobody cares that Gillespie’s parents were immigrants, or that he grew up in a grocery store.  You play your concern trolling game, saying “everybody’s got a similar story,” and voters aren’t going to connect by hearing Ed’s.  Well, you know why he has to talk about his bio like that?  Because some horse’s ass spent almost a million bucks telling everybody that Gillespie was a fat cat rich lobbyist.  Enron Ed.  Establishment Ed.  You remember that?  You should, because that was you.

Now he’s got to take time to reintroduce himself to voters because, despite the fact that he ran just three years ago statewide, all that’s out there is the negativity that you and your mindless sycophants dumped on him when you weren’t playing patty cake with a bunch of brain dead white supremacists.

You think he’s boring.  So what if he is?  Guess what, tough guy?  That Mr. Rogers-sweater-wearing boring guy just kicked your butt.  He’s our nominee.  You’re back to begging the Post to pay attention to you by being outrageous.

Maybe some of us would like to see somebody who is just boringly competent get elected governor.  Maybe we’re tired of being entertained by politics and we just want somebody to do the damn job and stop grandstanding.  We’ve had enough flash, enough reality TV claptrap to last a life time – because, let’s be honest, that’s exactly what the last four years of McAuliffe have been.  We’re tired of the constant controversy, the constant desire to grab headlines.  We’re tired of candidates who have to say outrageously idiotic things because those same candidates are too lazy to fundraise and they’re desperate for the “fake news” to cover them.  It’s amazing that none of your supporters ever figured out that the most dangerous place in the Commonwealth of Virginia was between you and a news camera.  You complain constantly about the main stream media, but for some reason you keep answering the phone whenever the “Washington Compost” comes calling.

I mean, it’s not even been a month since the election, and you’re already crawling on your knees, trying to find creative ways to get Laura Vozzella to write another column about you.  And people think I’m an attention whore.  It’s pathetic, man.  Just stop.

The worst part is everybody who actually knows you knows it’s an act. You never acted this way before Trump.  There’s a reason why every elected official in Prince William endorsed Gillespie – yeah, these are the same people you now call “slimeballs,” although you had great things to say about them when they were endorsing you.  Now you think you can get away with acting like him because you think your supporters are too stupid to realize you’re playing a character.

Well, on second thought, you may be right about that.

As I see it, you can do one of two things.  You can shut up now, let Ed run his race, and let the chips fall where they may.  Do that, and you’ll be well on your way to losing to Tim Kaine in 2018, which appears to be what you want to do.  For some reason Prince William has never been big enough for you, which is why you seem to run for something else every year.  Or, you can keep talking and hope that your fawning followers are willing to give you a pass for doing exactly what they, to this day, accuse Bill Bolling of having done in 2013.  After all, it was all the “free advice” in the press about being too extreme and outside the Virginia mainstream that you all claim is the reason Cuccinelli lost in 2013, isn’t it?

You demanded that every Republican fall in line behind Trump last year after he won.  “If we lose, I’ll know where to place blame,” you said.  It was “treason” not to support the nominee, right? Folks that didn’t were “immature babies who are tearing down the Republican Party,” remember?  Time to follow your own advice, you hypocrite.

Like I said, Corey, do us all a favor: sit down and shut up.

Run your county, not your mouth, and let Ed run his campaign.