By Tony Pham
To my friends who have messaged me believing I may be insensitive because of my position about safe spaces and the perception that I refuse to understand. If you are offended, there are coping mechanisms which can be deployed to help. My wife is a LCSW and may provide some insight on how to best “deal” with me considering we have been together for 20 years.
I look at my children and wonder who will be their leaders? Who will have the heart and the internal fortitude to make the difficult decisions? I look at our history and see that we had young people storming the beaches of Normandy, fighting in Korea. We had young people patrolling the hot jungles of Vietnam. All making decisions which would be so far beyond the capabilities of SOME in the current college generation.
In the past. we had young people inspired by our civil rights leaders to place themselves in physical harms way. In the face of openly oppressive leaders, we had young people stage sit ins. We had a young girl, with the help of others, courageously defy a racist Governor. In the face of hatred, dogs and water hoses, we had young folks peacefully march in Selma. We had young folks courageous enough to face a hostile environment to march on Washington. We even had young people willingly sacrifice their lives to move our nation forward in the face of the exact type of hatred being displayed by these cowardly hate groups today.
Yet, a generation has not even yet passed, and we have now changed directions to safe spaces. Spaces, although created with good intentions, fail to push and continue the courageous actions of our past civil rights pioneers.
The hostility of this election cycle was in NO WAY comparable to the hostility that our past civil rights leaders faced and yet, instead of standing up and facing the evil, college campuses have begun to enable our youth. All in the hopes of “exploring” our feelings. “How does that make you feel?” The hatred is the same. The vitriol is the same. We even had racists holding some of the highest positions in our government in the past. Hell, we have them NOW. The landscape and the struggle has NOT changed folks, just the way we respond has.\
I express this opinion because I am fearful of who will be next to lead my children. THE SUN HAS BEGUN TO SET on my time as a leader so I am looking outward to the next generation of young folks and I am frightened. We, as parents and leaders have failed you. But I will not accept sole blame because the history books were there for you to learn. The history books were there for you to find your hero.
Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train up our children in the way they should go: and when they are old, they will not depart from it.
My parents didn’t care how I felt when I failed or when I was scared. My father and mother did not have time to explore their feelings of despair when they gave up their home country in their 30’s to start a new life. My family did not have the luxury of exploring “hurtful feeling words” when we were scrambling to survive and in the face of overt racism. I didn’t get to huddle up with my friends and talk through my emotions when I got my ass whipped. My sisters didn’t have a safe space to go to when objectified as sexual objects thanks to the movie Full Metal Jacket. No, we learned to cope. And such coping skills produced a doctor and a lawyer, both of whom are still willing to fight for fairness and equality.
All this said, today my son is playing football. He’s in the playoffs. If he loses, I am sure he will cope. He will shake hands with the winner. Dust himself off. And get back to work to play again next season.
Tony Pham immigrated to the United States in 1975. Became a citizen in 1985 with his family. A lawyer and advocate for the constitution which afforded his family freedom, he ran as the Republican Nominee for the Henrico Commonwealth’s Attorney’s seat in 2015.