For Immediate Release
D.J. SPIKER ANNOUNCES HIS CANDIDACY FOR DEMOCRATIC NOMINATION FOR LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR
With Schoeneman, Hoeft, Falkenstein and Reisinger running on the other side, this will be a cake walk
Harrisonburg, Virginia – Friday, April 1, 2016 – D.J. Spiker, of Harrisonburg, Virginia, announced his intention to seek the Democratic nomination for Lieutenant Governor today.
“After a long discussion with my fictional wife and kids, and a nerve-wracking best-of-3 coin flip, I am pleased and honored to announce I will be seeking the Democratic nomination for Lieutenant Governor.
“While this may come to some as a surprise, after the announcements from Bearing Drift contributors Brian Schoeneman, J.R. Hoeft, Ken Falkenstein and Rollin Reisinger seeking the Republican nomination, how could I run against them for the most prestigious part-time position in the Commowealth?
“Instead, in the grand tradition of Democratic Lieutenant Governor’s past, I intend to hardly campaign, if at all. Voters can be assured, I will do as little as possible to earn to their vote, upholding the traditions of my predecessors, Ralph Northam and Jody Wagner. Fear not, voters, you will not receive a single robo-call, door knock or piece of junk mail in your mailbox. As Ralph and Jody have both eloquently taught me, out-of-sight, out-of-mind.
“It is in that way I intent to govern as Lieutenant Governor, as the man I seek to replace, Ralph Northam, has demonstrated incredibly well the principles of out-of-sight, out-of-mind. Ralph Northam’s undistinguished Lieutenant Governor term is exactly the reason I’m running; to serve more than three years and be unknown to more than 70% of Virginia voters is the perfect setup. To date, his best-known act of his term was to not understand or have read the Virginia Constituion and illegally gavel out the State Senate. Beyond that, he’s been neither seen, nor heard.
“THAT is exactly what I intend to bring to the Lieutenant Governor’s office, and with my running mates Ralph Northam and Mark Herring, it is sure to be one of the least-excitable Democratic tickets in recent years. Out-of-sight, out-of-mind.
“Additionally, I look forward in the fall to facing whichever Bearing Drift contributor is tasked with the Republican nomination.
“I look forward to a campaigning as little as possible, earning a state pension, enjoying the largesse of Richmond lobbyists, and as many free dinners and cocktail as possible.”
For more information on Mr. Spiker, please visit www.djspiker.info.
