I grew up in a home without Christmas (long story, not worth going in to now). So, as an adult, I’ve enjoyed creating my own Christmas traditions. One favorite for my husband and I is covering the archway in our living room with the lovely cards we receive from friends and relatives.
As we read the cards and the family update letters accompanying some of them, we’ll often pick out the most creative, smallest, furthest away, etc. – or in this case, the funniest:
From the Senate Republican Caucus, the card reads:
T’was the night before session,
and all through the state,
all the members were stirring,
awaiting their fate.
The bills were all snuggled in L.I.S.,
while visions of signage made it hard to rest.
With Norment in his kerchief, and McDougle in his cap,
they would not settle down for a ling winters nap.
When out on the hill there arose such a clatter,
we sprang from our Districts to see what was the matter.
But what to our wandering eyes should appear,
but a group we know, so treasured and dear.
Who is this group that helps us get it done?
We knew in a moment it was Team 21.
More rapid than donkeys the members they came,
As Majority Leader Norment called them by name,
“Now Carrico, On Cosgrove, On Hanger and Black”
The Dems could not take the majority back.
We knew that delivering this gift would be tough,
“Now, each of our Franks – both Wagner and Ruff”
“On McDougle, On Watkins, On Martin and Garrett”
Summer 2014 was a true test of our merit.
Faster than the speed of light,
it was time for this Caucus to hear our plight,
“Now Newman, on Obenshain, on McWaters and Jill V.,
On Reeves, Stosch, Smith – on Stuart and Stanley”
But who was running so fast with a magnificent grin?
It was Chafin, our newest, who gave us the win.
Taking our seats, the tension mounts,
let’s get in there folks, every vote counts.
Our goals were complete, five years in the making.
The majority had become ours for the taking.
We couldn’t have done it without people like you,
Thank you for being our tried and true.
The effort is so valiant and the results so amusing, we shall forgive them the use of “but” twice in one sentence; although, perhaps not leaving to mystery whether their eyes are really “wandering,” or only “wondering.”
Perhaps they’ve earned a small demerit for sending a jolly Christmas card but never using the word “Christmas;” still, they get extra credit for the riff off of Twas the night before Christmas and the Christmas wreath decorated with their faces, wouldn’t you say?