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UVa’s Smutty Condom Olympics

Condom-Olympics-Header-no-verse [1]

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT.

A recent University of Virginia (UVa) conference highlighting sexual misconduct [2] on college campuses has been undermined or at least subverted by a March 2 school supported “Condom Olympics” festival.

Pre-publicity for the sordid event—promoted by University engineering student and Lambeth Senior Residential Assistant Andrew Jones and on Facebook [3]—urged undersexed University students to “come out this Sunday” to partake of:

An email from Mr. Jones to an official University student-housing mailing list teased the event [5] by asking:

Soo.. you think you know everything about condoms, huh?

Which links to a male-oriented sex site replete with crazy condom facts [6] like:

According to researcher Debby Herbenick, women are just a likely to experience orgasm with or without a condom

And helpful suggestions [7] to increase male sex drive, including a recommendation to consume an animal penis:

No, I’m not insulting you. Calm down. I literally mean eat a dick. In Asia, a fairly common remedy for the ol’ boner blues is to sup upon the genitals of a mighty animal. Whether it’s a rare tiger’s penis, or the twig and berries of a bull made into a hearty soup, Eastern folklore swears that it will get you going. Sure, there’s no actual science behind it, and chances are you’ll just be some sadsack who ate a tiger’s dick because some weird old man in the streets of Bangkok said it was a good idea, but these are desperate times, and maybe, just maybe, eating Tigger’s penis will put you in the mood. You won’t know until you try.

“Wrap the Cucumber” condom-application demonstrations, condom “blow up” contests, and “Down ‘n Dirty Jeopardy!” were some of the on-site “Olympic” events. Goodie bags with condoms, chocolate flavored lubricant, and other sex aids were awarded as prizes to contestants and observers alike.

The soundtrack to UVA’s Condom Olympics was equally offensive. Misogynistic, racist, and generally vile music, including Lil Wayne’s A Milli [8] (NSFW), contributed to the frivolity.

According to the event’s Facebook page, the University of Virginia’s Department of Student Health at Elson Student Health Center [9] helped underwrite expenses for The Condom Olympics; although, neither medical professionals nor Elson representatives were present for at least the event’s kickoff hour.

While UVa laments a culture of sexual violence [10], campus rape [11], sex-related murder [12]—and admonishes young men to be sexually sensitive to issues of consent—it concurrently promotes hypersexuality under the guise of sexual preparedness and disease prevention.

Despite stated platitudes and cursory appearances, at the University of Virginia’s Condom Olympics:

Titillation is not education, and in fact, is counter-productive to solving UVA’s serious sex-related problems. The Condom Olympics, and similar events, make the University’s atmosphere more, not less sexually dangerous for the children of the University of Virginia. Thomas Jefferson, surely, is spinning in his grave.

(n.b. UVa performs abortions on grounds [13], as an ultimate condom failsafe.)