Kirwin for Lieutenant Governor – The others are losers.

I remember when Bearing Drift was fantastic. I mean really great. But lately, it’s really been losing. When was the last time we won anything? We don’t win anymore. We have hit deficits with other blogs in the billions.

Why? Because these are the kinds of deals we make now. It’s horrible.

Believe me, I happen to think they’re incompetent. And they all want to be Lieutenant Governor now. They have a losing blog and now they want to run the Commonwealth.

Let me tell you. I get along with everybody. I’m a businessman. I could solve Bearing Drift’s problems in two seconds. Believe me. And it wouldn’t even be tough.

And look at these candidates! Really. Brian ShowMeTheMoney, or whatever his name is. I don’t know. He’s lost what three or five times already. He’s a loser.

And the kid, Reisinger I think his name is. He sounds like a car salesman, doesn’t he? Reisinger Dodge – sale this weekend! He’s a pushover.

DJ Spiker? Is that a candidate or a porn star? No challenge at all. He says he wants free dinners in Richmond. Believe me, I’m paying for my own dinners. I don’t owe the lobbyists anything. I’m paying for this all myself, and maybe I shouldn’t be, but believe me. They owe the lobbyists and donors everything. Everything. I owe nothing. I have a great company. Great assets, little to no debt, virtually no debt. It’s a great company.

Then there’s Ken Falkenstein who thinks he knows everything. Little Ken. He can’t even win his home city, and he thinks he can run statewide? I mean seriously. I beat him in every poll. Check the polls. It’s not even close.

So he’s a loser. Supports a new presidential candidate every week. Yeah, he’s a leader.

JR Hoeft. Oh, here’s a winner. JR.. Should be NR for Not Ready. I’ve hired so many people in my life. So many people. He’s hired zero. Zero.

So I think I have to run. Believe me, you don’t want Virginia to be run by these clowns. Oh, it’s Lieutenant Governor? What’s that? The guy who holds the door for the Senators?

I watched one of those Senate sessions. No big deal. Guy with the gavel asking “Are the Senators ready to vote” every five minutes. What’s the big deal? If the Lieutenant Governor has to spoonfeed all these Senators every time a vote comes up, I don’t know if I want that job. Even Falkenstein can wake up Senators when it’s voting time.

Did I tell you how small his hands are? I mean, really. They’d need to bring in a smaller gavel for Falkenstein. Way smaller.

So, I’m running for Lieutenant Governor, but only if Bearing Drift is fair. If they treat me with respect, I’ll run. And I’ll need a big gavel. HUGE gavel.

We’re going to make Virginia great again. We’re going to build a wall. It’ll be a magnificent wall, and North Carolina will pay for the wall.

Come to think of it, I think we’ll just build a wall around Northern Virginia. A wall between Northern Virginia and the rest of Virginia. And then we can make Virginia great again.

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