Virtue as Vice: Bob McDonnell and the Modern Sin of Inauthenticity

by H. Lillian Vogl

Here is the irony: Bob McDonnell could have simply divorced Maureen many years ago, and no one would have made a public issue of it. Today he would probably be on many lists of potential 2016 Presidential contenders.

If Bob had divorced Maureen, say 10 years ago, she would probably be destitute now. They never had a large net worth, so the property settlement would not have been lavish. She probably would not have exercised good stewardship over whatever she received. Would someone with her temper and misplaced sense of entitlement, disrobed of her association with a popular public figure, be able to hold down meaningful work? Doubtful. Her grown children would now be dodging her attempts to guilt-trip them into gifts to fund her desired lifestyle. No one would know that, and even if they did, no one would say the children were obligated to be enablers to their mother.

But Bob McDonnell is a faithful Catholic, so he didn’t divorce Maureen. He spent many years holding together the family, patching and covering over her shameful behavior, and trying to create a semblance of peaceful family life in spite of her. That’s what their daughters have testified, and what incentive do they have, not being under indictment themselves, to fabricate such a story? It wasn’t until Bob’s back was pressed against the wall by a politically-motivated prosecutor and a judge with a personal ax to grind–when he was forced to testify under oath–that he revealed anything about the pain and suffering Maureen had inflicted on him and the family.

For telling the truth, the angry mob is shouting “blasphemy” and “crucify him,” not only at Bob but also at his daughters. Because they tried to hold things together and keep their family problems a secret, but in the end were unsuccessful. If only Bob had divorced Maureen earlier, he would have been given a pass like Barabbas. Or he could have played Pilate and pontificated “what is truth?” Either of those routes would be so much easier for him to walk, at least in the here and now.

Oh, but doesn’t his wearing of the Rolex and smiling in the Ferrari prove his greed and corruption? Try stepping into the shoes of a man who is trying to fix or at least salve an unhappy marriage. Gifts are obviously your wife’s primary “love language.” They aren’t your love language, but you’re trying to meet her where she’s at, and avoid an angry tirade to boot. She gives you a Rolex. Do you grill her “where did you get the money for this?” or “why did you buy this?” or refuse the gift for being too extravagant? Or do you muster up an expression of gratitude and appreciation, even if you personally would never have chosen to buy a Rolex?

No, Bob McDonnell’s sin wasn’t greed or corruption. He transgressed the mortal sin of society today: being “inauthentic.” He was either being inauthentic when he tried to hold the family together and the wounds Maureen was inflicting on him under wraps, or he was inauthentic when he said these things happened at trial. Whichever one you believe, he has surely been inauthentic at some recent time.

We live in a time where “reality shows” dominate TV, and people routinely spill every detail of their lives–down to their lunch menus–on social media. How dare a public official be inauthentic? A Governor can lie about his whereabouts to go be with his Argentine mistress, but as long as he confesses his authentic love for her and divorces the mother of his children, he can have a comeback as a Congressman. But being faithful to his wife even when she is a private harpy? That’s not authentic! Lock him up for 10-12 years!

I, for one, salute him for his fidelity. His fidelity isn’t owed to Maureen, or to a public who demands authenticity. Fidelity is sticking to a faith that says you don’t divorce your wife, no matter what, and you tell the truth, no matter what.

Authenticity and truth are not the same. Truth says marriage is indissoluble; authenticity celebrates “conscious uncoupling.” Truth covers up certain images with discretion, but does not deface them; “authenticity” chooses filters and angles for every moment, and secretly Photoshops what doesn’t match one’s self-perception. Worshipers of authenticity cannot conceive that fidelity could hold an unhappy marriage together for decades, so they assume this explanation is just a craven “ploy,” even though it is corroborated by a crowd of witnesses.

My prayers are with all the McDonnell family during this difficult time, particularly with Bob during this extreme testing of his faith. But my prayers are also with the blood-thirsty mob who is too drunk on “reality” to know what they do.

Lillian Vogl is the Secretary of the Fairfax County Republican Committee and a Republican activist from Northern Virginia.

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