Let’s Outlaw MurderColumnsFeaturedPolicyPolitics

Having just seen the novel pictured on the right and watched President Obama talk about banning weapons and increasing gun control laws,  I had this idea.  It seems to me we can do better than just outlawing lots of guns.

We should outlaw murder.

I mean, guns are only the vehicle designed used to commit murder, so shouldn’t we go all the way and outlaw the end instead of the means?

Think about it. If we had the will and moral courage to outlaw murder, we would never have another horrifying massacre like Newtown or Aurora. We would never lose the hundreds killed by guns in inner city gang warfare or by those drug cartels around our border with Mexico. And we would never have those murders committed by people because of money or sex or jealousy or self-defense and stuff like that.

Actually, now that I think about it, we can do still better. Why don’t we get more specific and outlaw the murder of kids. That will take care of the problem with schools. And then, we should outlaw killing a spouse and bring violence domestic violence to an end. Oh, and while we’re at it, let’s outlaw the murder of weird people who look different than us. So much for hate crimes.

I mean, murder is a bad thing, so we just need to send out the unmistakable message that it’s not OK to commit murder. That will surely stop the bad guys from killing the good guys with guns or any other weapon – a baseball bat, ball peen hammer, crowbar, kitchen knife, tire iron, machete whatever.

There may already be over 300 million guns in this country, but if we outlaw murder, I’m sure they won’t really be used anymore.

As a matter of fact, now that I’m thinking about it, everyone will probably just turn in their guns because, what’s the point? Murder would be illegal, and I’ve been reading that most people own guns because they’re paranoid, hate-filled and violent pretty violent.

And the criminals? I think they’d be really upset. I mean, they went to all the trouble to get those guns, but they wouldn’t be able to use them anymore. I don’t think they’ll like that very much, but hey, you can’t fight city hall, huh?

And then there are all those awful people in that evil National Rifle Association. They won’t be able to do what I’m reading that they really, in their hearts, want to do, which is to shoot as many people as possible. I’m told it makes them feel more manly. Oh wait, there are all those women that own guns, too. 15 million or so. Well, they won’t be able to kill their husbands or boyfriends.

I know, I know. It seems radical to outlaw something that’s been happening in America for a long time. But hey, you have to draw a line in the sand somewhere.

In fact, I’m sure that if the president had today’s announcement to do over, he would agree with me and not be bothered with taking those 23 executive actions, which are apparently things a president can do without anyone else having to say it’s OK.

He would issue just one action outlawing murder. That would show those people who own guns criminals a thing or two.

  • MD Russ

    Tim,

    The problem is that if we outlaw murder we would then have to wait for Obama to sign an executive order for law enforcement agencies to enforce the law, which is what the 23 EO’s he signed today are all about. We would probably have to wait for another mass shooting so that he could have some political props, eh I mean small children and families of the victims, in the room when he trumpeted his presidential leadership in “doing something.”

  • Anonymous

    I wish we could just outlaw dumbasses.