President Obama has never shown much interest in spreading American culture around the world, so we were surprised today to learn that he had flown all the way to Kabul just to introduce the Afghan people to American football.
Indeed the express purpose of his taxpayer-funded jaunt was to declare victory against rival team al Qaeda by spiking the football right in al Qaeda’s end zone.
Now, some might say that taking out the other team’s quarterback, Osama bin Laden, does not, in itself, constitute defeating his entire team and winning the game. Obama disagrees and has declared the al Qaeda team to be defeated and the game over.
And how sweet must be the celebratory dance for Obama knowing that he defeated that rival team all by himself.
Some might say that former quarterback G.W. Bush, who led the American team during the first three quarters of the game, might deserve some of the credit. But Obama says no, Bush took the team off the field to go play against an Iraqi team led by QB Saddam Hussein. I could have sworn I saw Bush leading squads on both fields during that time, but I guess my eyes are just getting old. But that does raise the question of how America had achieved such a convincing leading score over al Qaeda by the time Obama first put on his helmet.
So, in the spirit of American sportsmanship, let’s all celebrate Obama’s personal victory over al Qaeda and hope that he’s right that by defeating their injured QB we defeated their entire team.
And be sure to tune in for a replay of Obama’s celebratory dance on September 11th.
