Breaking – Conservative movement betrayed at CPAC, RINO wins straw poll
By Brian Schoeneman | Saturday, February 11th, 2012 | Politics
In a shocking turn of events, well known liberal and anti-conservative Mitt Romney was able to use his millions of ill-gotten Bain Capital dollars to stuff sufficient ballot boxes at the CPAC conference to win him the annual event’s Straw Poll. In a stunning upset, Komissar Romney won the straw poll with 38% of the vote to Rick Santorum’s 31%. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich took third with 15% and past crowd favorite Ron Paul brought up the rear with 12%.
Romney celebrated his stolen victory by taking a joyride around Washington DC in his vintage Zil limousine, formerly owned by Soviet Premier Konstantin Chernenko. He is scheduled to return to Massachusetts where he will ignore poor people and celebrate his victory by dining on humpback whale and beluga caviar in his rich person’s house.
The victory for Romney is a stunner at CPAC, where solid conservatives have tended to win the straw poll in the past. Past winners include Ron Paul, Steve Forbes, Ronald Reagan, and Mitt Romney, who has succeeded in stealing three past CPAC straw poll wins. Pundits across America agree that the voting must have been rigged, especially after Romney’s pathetic speech at the conference yesterday. His speech, in which he called himself “severely conservative” and vowed, if elected, to replace Obamacare with Romneycare while outlawing the Catholic Church, puppies, and the 4th of July, was met by stunned silence in the packed Marriot Wardman Park Ballroom.
Media pundits across America also agree that this CPAC win spells doom for the Romney presidential campaign. This win marks his fourth, the same number of Super Bowl losses the Denver Broncos have under their belts, a sure sign that Romney will be easily defeated by President Barack Obama in November, they noted.
“It’s hard to see how he comes back from something like this,” said MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow. “Even when he wins, he’s still a liberal loser. There’s no way he wins the Republican nomination now.” In agreement, MSNBC host Al Sharpton babbled something about blueberry pie.
In related news, Bearing Drift has received reports from various libraries around Washington, DC that all of their copies of Hayek’s “The Road to Surfdom” and Barry Goldwater’s “Conscience of a Conservative” have spontaneously combusted.
Tags:
Contribute for Conservatism!
Share this post
About the author
A veteran political professional, a long-time Republican party activist and new attorney, Brian W. Schoeneman has been offering his opinions at Bearing Drift since 2010. He serves on the Board of Virginia Line Media, LLC, which operates Bearing Drift and spends his days representing the U.S. Merchant Marine in Washington, D.C. He hails from Fairfax County, Virginia, where he lives with his wife and son.
Comments
13 Responses to "Breaking – Conservative movement betrayed at CPAC, RINO wins straw poll"
Nice piece of investigative reporting, Brian. Does this mean, by any chance, that Ron Paul is deader than disco?
Ron Paul is still first in monetary policy, first in ending the Fed, and first in the heart’s of Ron Paul supporters.
“…Mitt Romney was able to use his millions of ill-gotten Bain Capital dollars…”
Stop attacking capitalism to get to Romney!…its simple…Romney has a litany of things he has supported, said, endorsed,sponsored, implied etc. that are all “anti-conservative” but making money legally at Bain capital was not one of them.
Every time we attack the free market in a failed attempt to get to Romney we are taking a page right our of the liberal playbook, and not even changing the words…
unless of course this was all pure sarcasm…in which case…my bad
Nick, do you get out much?
Thanks for reading BD, Nick. Brian is a solid Romney supporter and, yes, this was indeed satire.
Lets see.. the accuracy of CPAC predicting the winner is..?
Palin: W-T-F?
Tim…yes…but I got so used to seeing the Bain capitol drivel that I started getting hyper sensitive to it…
I am also not a Romney supporter…that is at least I’m not unless he gets the nomination, so from that perspective you can see where I wouldn’t mind a piece bashing Romney provided that it is done correctly.
Ultimately if Romney gets the nomination, which it looks like he probably will, I will be forced into forgiving his numerous previous transgressions, at least as much as is required to achieve the real goal which is defeating Obama.
Nick, your right, as the “transgressions” being racked up by Obama make “Rmoney’s” seem almost insignificant by comparison.
http://www.mittromney.com/store
WINTER SALE 15% off
Better prices at the Ron Paul Store. Keep getting blocked if I try to link to the store.
Do a search with “” Ron Paul 2012 store “” and you will get the link.
Will put my Ron Paul yard sign next to my Romney yard sign and let the neighbrs try to figure that one out.
Tim I would agree…I don’t think we have ever seen a President as hostile to limited Constitutional government…and that is saying something when you consider Wilson, FDR and LBJ
Leave your response
The comments section is for meaningful discussion. Readers are reminded to post comments that are germane to the article and write in a common language that steers clear of personal attacks and/or vulgarities.
Please take a moment to review our comment policy.