We Offer Secret Service Code Names for the GOP Contenders
By Ward Smythe | Monday, June 27th, 2011 | Politics
On Sunday, Fox News correspondent Chris Wallace asked Michele Bachmann if she was a “Flake.” Bachmann assured him she was a serious person and Wallace has since apologized.
But, fair or not, will the label stick?
Fast forward to the summer of 2012, Michele Bachmann accepts the GOP nomination and in so doing receives Secret Service protection. Will her code name be “Flake?” Or perhaps “NotaFlake?”
There’s a longstanding tradition that Presidents and other high ranking officials official nicknames. These nicknames date back to the times when communications weren’t encrypted and it wasn’t safe to say things like “The President is on the move” on a channel that could be intercepted.
Nicknames often fit the personality of the individual. Barack Obama is “Renegade.” Ronald Reagan was “Rawhide” and the story “Rawhide Down” tells how close we came to losing him on that day in 1981.
With an ever crowding field of candidates for the GOP nomination, we thought perhaps it was time to start working on potential nicknames. Here’s what we came up with:
Michele Bachmann: NOTAFLAKE
Herman Cain: PIEMAN
Newt Gingrich: SOLO
Jon Huntsman: EGGROLL
Gary Johnson: WEED
Sarah Palin: MOOSESLAYER
Ron Paul: RADICAL
Tim Pawlenty: OATMEAL
Rick Perry: DRAFTED
Mitt Romney: FLIPPER
Rick Santorum: DONTGOOGLE
Think you can do better? Add your suggestions in the comments.
And go here to generate your own code name.
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About the author
Ward Smythe is a pseudonymous aspiring freelance writer from Central Virginia. Until late 2007 Ward blogged at the now defunct "Ward View" and was active in Virginia and national politics. Ward's signature style of snarkery gained him a unique following that he hopes to regain here at Bearing Drift. Ward uses humor, satire and sometimes photoshop to make his point. Ward is proud to be an equal opportunity offender.
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Comments
8 Responses to "We Offer Secret Service Code Names for the GOP Contenders"
For Sarah, I think “Moosekiller” rolls off the tongue a little easier.
I can’t claim this one, but another BD contributor came up with this for Bachmann based on her ethanol policies: “Corn Flake”
Bachman has to be CRAZYEYES.
Gingrich might better be HOPELESS.
I like the others.
And if Christie gets in, of cource, FATMAN
(I would have said BIGMAN, but that would be sacreligious following so closley upon the death of Clarence Clemmons, the real Big Man.)
Mitt Romney needs something hair-related…HAIR or maybe FONZIE?
Jason: How about HAIR SPRAY?
Or MAGIC UNDERWEAR.
Herman Cain as “Corleone” (He was CEO of Godfather’s Pizza.)
Ron Paul as “Nutcase”
Rick Santorum as “Nochance”
Tim Pawlenty as “Apostate” (He’s an apostate Catholic.)
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