Oscars – Your political capsule profiles

Sunday will be the telecast of the 83rd Academy Awards with 10 (TEN!) nominees for Best Picture. Of course, in my book there are still only 5 (the ones also nominated for Best Director are the only ones with a chance), but the question still remains.

Have you seen all ten?

If not, have no fear. I’ve taken the time to craft some very effective capsule summaries of these films….sort of.

Black Swan – Nancy Pelosi movie, meaning you have to see it to find out what’s in it.

The Fighter – Biopic about Ken Cuccinelli and his relentless and almost universally successful battles with liberal wienies in Richmond and Washington DC.

Inception – An amazing trip into an alternate reality of dreams, where Obama’s stimulus plans work, Democrats pass budgets on time, Tim Kaine has accomplishments, Mark Warner doesn’t raise taxes, Jim Webb doesn’t quit, Del. Ward Armstrong and Del. Joe Morrissey get laryngitis, Sen. Yvonne Miller buys her own dinner without special interests picking up the check, and liberals actually read the Constitution.

The Kids Are All Right – A comedy about the liberal teachers union organizers in Wisconsin, who have a madcap adventure using children and fear tactics to protect pensions. Despite the unionists’ best efforts, the kids turned out just fine.

The King’s Speech – Nail-biting thriller as two staffers race against time trying to repair a teleprompter before Barack Obama gives a State of the Union address.

127 Hours – A documentary capturing the minute-by-minute adventures of the Senate Privileges and Elections Committee which met for a total of 127 hours before the Democrat Chairman let them actually vote on a bill.

The Social Network – a reality-show film based on the drama, trials and scandals of General Assembly legislative aides.

Toy Story 3 – Touching Drama about the Norfolk City Council who ignore failing schools, deteriorating roads and crime-ridden streets while they fund their latest toys, like light rail and office buildings that no one needs.

True Grit – Hard-hitting drama about Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker as he takes on the whining unionists who want more, more, more while taxpayers have less, less, less

Winter’s Bone – A group of young scientists embark on a nationwide search through blizzards of snow and sleet seeking the whereabouts of Al Gore, who seems to vanish every winter, and trying to unlock the mysteries of global warming. Admission to this film was only allowed by trading carbon credits.

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About the author

Brian Kirwin

The right wants to jeer him. The left wants to censor him. Moderates usually want both. Brian Kirwin is a political consultant and public relations strategist in Virginia Beach with a lightning-rod flair. Brian also serves on the VB Arts & Humanities Commission and frequently appears on Hampton Roads theatrical stages, if only to prove that all actors aren’t liberals. Kirwin’s columns stir up debate and hit the political scene with no punches pulled.