Christmas gift list
By Brian Kirwin | Monday, December 20th, 2010 | Catch-AllHere’s my 2010 Christmas Gift list…feel free to add more for anyone I missed!
To ex-Del. Bobby Matheson: Since he lost to Ron Villanueva by a hair, Rogaine!
To Dem Chair Brian Moran: Continuing his campaign track record.
To Virginia Beach Mayor Will Sessoms: An egg timer to gavel Council Speeches that you know are going to go too long and say nothing.
To VB Councilman Jim Wood: A giant “I told you so” button about former HRT chief Michael Townes
To Meyera Oberndorff: A hobby, and one that doesn’t involve moonlighting at candidate forums.
To Sen. Jeff McWaters: Something in a “statewide” should do
To Del. Barry Knight: Someone who doesn’t like him – there must be someone.
To Sen. Yvonne Miller: laryngitis. Sine Die might come an entire week earlier.
To Gov. Bob McDonnell: An entire year without saying “time, talent and treasure” or “hard work of freedom” – catch phrases are great, but there’s always room for new ones.
To LG Bill Bolling: Lots of 20-20 votes
To AG Ken Cuccinelli: Tommy Lee Jones to play him in a movie.
To Norfolk Mayor Paul Fraim: Free light rail trips for life, not that it will take him anywhere
To Sen. Ralph Northam: A coin to flip, one side says GOP and the other says DEM.
Del. Paula Miller: a reason to be in the General Assembly – there’s gotta be one.
To VB Councilwoman Barbara Henley: an answer to why she can never understand anyone else’s motions enough to vote for them, but flips out if anyone says the same about hers.
To Del. Sal Iaquinto: Better movies for his fundraiser themes – the 70s ain’t coming back, Sal.
To Del. Chris Stolle: Better Tea Party relations – if they knew how conservative you are, you’d be on their posters.
To Del. Glenn Oder: A new Hampton Roads bridge tunnel paid for by payday lenders
To Del. John Cosgrove: a lead in the General Assembly version of Glee
To Sen. John Miller: Higher taxes on all the gas he buys, since he thinks it’s such a great idea.
To ex-Sen. George Allen: bankruptcy for the Washington Post
To Sen. Mark Warner: Actual legislation he can sponsor other than his usual resolutions commending some organization. Seriously, Mark. Is this all ya got goin’?
Sen. Jim Webb: A good book.
Rep-elect Scott Rigell: A new law making candidates’ donations to themselves tax deductible. C’mon, if job seekers can deduct costs from their taxes, so should candidates. Two mil is a chunck of change.
Rep. Bobby Scott: That they keep gerrymandering his district, or else he’ll be out of office quick.
President Barack Obama: Understanding that Hillary Clinton wants to be a Kennedy – she may have held Robert’s Senate seat, but she’s about to act like Teddy did in ’80.
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About the author
The right wants to jeer him. The left wants to censor him. Moderates usually want both. Brian Kirwin is a political consultant and public relations strategist in Virginia Beach with a lightning-rod flair. Brian also serves on the VB Arts & Humanities Commission and frequently appears on Hampton Roads theatrical stages, if only to prove that all actors aren’t liberals. Kirwin’s columns stir up debate and hit the political scene with no punches pulled.
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10 Responses to "Christmas gift list"
For Nancy Pelosi: a map of the United States with the 63 Congressional districts that flipped because of ObamaCare and Cap and Trade highlighted.
For the Tea Party Movement: an autographed photo, suitable for framing, of Sen. Harry Reid with the inscription, “thanks for the boost, folks.”
For President Obama: a picture of the Earth from outer space with a graphical representation of how many times 787 billion dollar bills laid end-to-end will circle the globe–with no apparent effect.
For Corey Stewart: A green card.
For Tom Perriello: a new left-turn signal, driver’s safety classes…or both.
To Delegate Bob Marshall: A dose of common sense. http://voices.washingtonpost.com/virginiapolitics/2010/12/following_this_weekends_vote_b.html
For Bert & Jamie:
Another look now that I am beginning to have doubts about my first choice.
To Glenn Nye – a wonderful gift thanks to the Senate vote: an opportunity to join the military without threat of blackmail or living a lie.
To the Washington Redskins-A kicker who actually makes field goals
To All Hampton Roads residents-Another year with an uneventful hurricane season
Shouldn’t this be a “Holiday” gift list. I’m offended.
To Brian Kirwin – A role in the Michael Vick movie “You can’t keep a good dog down.”
For Sarah Palin: she becomes a good enough parent that she sees at least one of her children graduate from high school.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Vivian J. Paige. Vivian J. Paige said: Here is Schapiro's list http://bit.ly/fMUiNi & here is Kirwin's http://bit.ly/gLJw7a [...]
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