Making TSA Body Scans Popular
By Brian Kirwin | Friday, November 26th, 2010 | PolicyI got to thinking about the TSA Body Scan uproar this week. First thought – Don’t ya think the left is awful quiet about it?
If George W. Bush was doing this, Democrat bloggers would be screaming and Democrat leaders would be marching in protests. Heck, they went apoplectic over the Patriot Act and I never could find anyone ever impacted by the Patriot Act.
Democrats went nuts if someone knew what books you took out of the library, but these TSA body scans are no big deal to them, I guess.
I guess that’s change they can believe in. Obama is still fighting a war in Afghanistan and implementing full body scan machines at airports. No cap and trade, no public option for health care, and now airplane security one might be tempted to call W-esque.
But the uproar of the American people against these scanners has been the story. If you refuse the scanner, you get the full body patdown, inspiring the new catchphrase “Don’t touch my junk.”
Not exactly “Give me liberty or give me death” but the sentiment is close.
But regardless, I think the TSA has missed a huge marketing opportunity here. Ever go on a roller coaster? People lining up for rows and rows. And as you’re rocketing at Mach 2, some brilliant marketer figured you’d be willing to pay a good chunk of bucks for a photo print of your wind-blown face careening past.
And people line up to buy them.
That’s my TSA suggestion. For a small capital investment, they could hook up photo printers to the body scan machines and sell people a copy of their scans.
People would buy them. Believe me – no one understands the ego of the American public like I do. Some often hint that I either invented it or redefined it. Either way, it’s there, and I think there are enough people in this country who would pay ten bucks for their body scan photo to make some serious change – that’s change I can believe in!
We could even upsell to frames. Maybe even print t-shirts. “They checked my boxers for bombs and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” with a print of the scan on the other side. That would bring in at least $25 a pop.
Let’s face it. The holiday shopping season is a bit drab this year. No cabbage patch kids or some other inane idea making people line up for miles. This could be the number one gift idea for 2010. Sure beats a pet rock…
See, that’s why we still have a budget deficit in this country. Too few people at high levels of government who understand the way ya make money today.
Make people go through a scanner, and you have a protest. Charge them to do it, and give them a momento, and you have a million-seller!
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The right wants to jeer him. The left wants to censor him. Moderates usually want both. Brian Kirwin is a political consultant and public relations strategist in Virginia Beach with a lightning-rod flair. Brian also serves on the VB Arts & Humanities Commission and frequently appears on Hampton Roads theatrical stages, if only to prove that all actors aren’t liberals. Kirwin’s columns stir up debate and hit the political scene with no punches pulled.
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Comments
8 Responses to "Making TSA Body Scans Popular"
Great idea, Brian. I also heard this mentioned on Steve Batton in the morning. So, at least someone more than you is thinking about this too.
Also, Kat from Cathouse Chat brought up this idea via email:
Either way, I think you’re onto something here.
sadly, I know a few folks affected by the Patriot Act. I also don’t see the Left complaining about Gitmo anymore either. I like the marketing twist with the photographs. maybe we can add a “guess your weight” option as well.
Since this is a fairly obese country, people might not line up to buy the scans they way you think.
However, what about an option to buy other people’s scans? While I might not want to look at a naked pictue of myself, I usually see a couple people at the airport I’d like to see more of.
The idea for the detonator chamber is good, is there such a thing?
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I’m disappointed, I thought Brian was going to suggest full body scans for our Congressmen. Any bundles of cash they had hidden under their clothes would be exposed on their way home from work.
LD they don’t keep it on their person they keep the money in the freezer and their wife’s underwear.
This problem goes away when Big Sis goes into the scanner and has those pictures posted online…
Sad fact is, if this were Gee Dubya who imposed this new tech, I doubt there’d be the same uproar on the right — and more agitation from the left. Pretty sad inconsistency…
I got a big kick out of the detonation chamber idea when I first saw the email a few weeks ago. No, the technology does not exist. If it did, then you could be certain that the Israelis would have already deployed it.
I have some friends who have been working on the DoD Joint IED Defeat Organization projects. They have spent many millions of dollars over the past few years looking for that kind of capability, among other things.
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