The Top 10 Farces of 2009

Okay, let’s get beyond the point that the greatest farce may be Ward’s return to the blogosphere. But let’s take a look at some of the most outrageous stories, stunts and downright shameful events of the past year.

#10 Al Franken and Hot Dogs (tie): Al Franken, the Clown Prince of the Senate, was so badly needed to be the 60th vote that the Democrats put in untold resources to overturn Norm Coleman’s election night lead. And in late June, they prevailed. After seven months and some $13 million in legal fees the Minnesota Supreme Court declared Al Franken the winner. Franken has proven to be even a worse Senator than he was a comedian. He’s partisan, he’s beligerant, and doggone it, let’s hope he’s a one term Senator.

Tying for 10th place with Franken is the Obama Administration Hot Dog Diplomacy. In an effort to make friends with the very people who would like to see us, along with Israel, wiped off the face of the earth the State Department said that Iranian Dipolmats would be invited to July 4 barbecues. The State Department said that the invites were symbolic and a gesture of goodwill, not venues for substantive policy discussions. Oh, well then. Fortunately, in one of the few moments of sanity in the first eleven months of the Obama Administration the White House rescinded the invitations.

#9 Nancy Pelosi and the CIA: In May, Screecher of the House Nancy Pelosi said that the CIA lied to her and that she was never briefed regarding waterboarding and other harsh interrogation tactics by the Bush administration. But in September of 2002, four members of Congress, including Pelosi, was given a virtual tour of the CIA’s overseas detention sites. Reports from that meeting indidate that no objections were rasied and that at least two (of the four) lawmakers in the room asked the CIA to push harder. Unfortunately this unpleasantness hindered Ms. Nancy’s efforts to “drain the swamp.” Most notably over a year ago she pledged that a review of ethics charges against Congressman Charles Rangel of New York would be complete by January 3, 2009. A year later, that investigation remains incomplete.

#8 Balloon Boy: News outlets and the Interwebz were held captive to the story of a six-year-old boy named Falcon floating away in a homemade ballon. Fortunately for the child, he was found “hiding” in an attic when it all turned out to be an elaborate hoax staged by the boys parents. Unfortunately for the child, these are the same parents who named him “Falcon.” Just before Christmas, Falcon’s parents were sentenced to jail time. The father received 90 days, which includes 60 days work release. Upon the completion of the father’s sentence, the mother will serve 20 days in jail. The boy’s punishment, to be forever known as “Falcon, the Balloon Boy” is a life sentence.

#7 South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford: This time last year he was being mentioned as a potential Presidential candidate. Turns out that he’s just another politician who can’t keep his potential zipped up. Sanford was right on the conservative issues, and strong on the conservative values – or so we thought. But it turns out he valued a little someone in South America more than his family or his political career. Voters will sometimes forgive marital indiscretions, but they won’t forgive clumsy or reckless. Sandford’s disappearance lead to rumors of hiking the Appalachian Trail. That didn’t work out because it just so happened to be nude hiking day. But more importantly, it was never clear just who could have reached the Governor had their been a statewide or even national emergency. Sanford survived impeachment. But his political career, and his marriage, are history.

#6 Michaele and Tareq Salahi: In November, Michaele and Tareq Salahi waltzed their way uninvited into a state dinner at the White House. Suddenly Tareq Salahi whom Jim Gilmore, Mark Warner and Tim Kaine all appointed to positions with the Virginia Wine Board, Virginia Wine Tourism Office and the Virginia Tourism council was someone that nobody really knew. Turns out the Salahis are pros at gatecrashing. But one still has to wonder how they got past security without an invitation.

#5 Nobel Prize: In October Barack Obama was named the recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize for providing “hope for a better future” and striving for nuclear disarmament. As Rick Sincere pointed out at the time “the deadline for submitting nominations for the Nobel Peace Prize was February 1 — just days after President Obama’s inauguration.” Of course when you consider that Obama joins such outstanding recipients as Al Gore, Jimmy Carter and Yasser Arafat you already know that the award was rendered meaningless long ago.

#4 Porkulus: In February, Congress passed without reading it, and the President signed without reading the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009, better known as Porkulus. We were told that this had to be done to fix the economy. It had to be done or unemployment rates would skyrocket…oops. But because Porkulus wasn’t a big enough failure, in December, while you were trying to figure out how to pay for Christmas dinner, Congress passed a second stimulus bill that they call the Main Street Act, H.R. 2847. And just in case you’re counting, the national debt is now at a staggering $12.1 trillion. So forget Dave Ramsey. To follow the Congressional model, the way to your own personal recovery is to go out this afternoon and buy 43 houses for every $100 you have in the bank. Give or take a fifth bedroom or two.

#3 Global Warming, a.k.a. Climate Change: In late November we learned that emails had been obtained from the Climate Research Unit (CRU) at the University of East Anglia (UEA) showing that scientific information contrary to the theology of the High Church of Global Warming was ignored, or worse, deleted. The emails included discussion of the repression of information as well as tricks to show the approved political, but not scientific, “data” for Global Warming. But not to worry, Al Gore, the High Priest of Carbon Hypocrisy and President Obama dashed off to Copenhagen and solved the problem of Global Warming. After all, Dallas, Texas received three inches of snow on Christmas Eve, that’s the first measurable Christmas Eve snowfall since the late 1800s when the National Weather Service began keeping records.

#2 Obama Care: While no one could reasonably say that the American Health Care system doesn’t need some work, what’s being forced down the throats of the American public is not the answer. On Christmas Eve, 60 Democratic Senators forced through their version of Obama Care. Yet another bill that was impossible to have read in the required amount of time. A bill that received no Republican support. A bill that poll after poll after poll shows that the American people do not want. Yet they, Barack, Nancy and Harry had to have it. In the end it took the bribing of several Democratic Senators to get the measure passed, most notably Senator Ben Nelson of Nebraska who garnered an extra $55 million in Medicaid funding for his state in exchange for his vote, leading some to refer to him as a “prostitute.” Virginia’s Senators Warner and Webb, on the other hand, screwed us for free.

# 1 Post-Partisan President: After campaign claims that he would usher in an era of post-partisanship, Barack Obama has turned out to be one of the most partisan, divisive Presidents in recent memory. Instead of a Presidency where the American public would have five days to read a bill before he signed it, massive spending bills, including Porkulus, have been rushed to his desk and rushed to signature. Instead of an open debate about health care, we’ve had closed door meetings and meeting where Republicans were considered persona non grata. But not to worry, public opinion polls are now showing that even the liberals aren’t happy with Obama. Maybe that’s what he meant by “post-partisan.” Everybody thinks he’s doing it wrong.

A year ago, in the afterglow of an historic election of America’s first African American President, the country was all warm and fuzzy with that feeling of “Hope” and “Change.” Now, on the eve of 2010, we’re just hoping for change.

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