Brush With Greatness

By Chase

I spent this July 4th morning washing my car and watching a fascinating documentary on the History Channel about Benjamin Franklin (who, I’m sorry to say to my fellow Virginians, is my favorite Founding Father). A cookout and fireworks will come later (assuming the pyrotechnics don’t get rained out).

As I have tried to do most years if I can, early this afternoon I watched the Nathan’s Famous 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest, live from Coney Island on ESPN. This year I had a rooting interest.

A woman that I work with is the sister of Joey Chestnut, who coming into today was the defending champion. Last year he knocked off 6-time defending champion Takeru “Tsunami” Kobayashi in shocking and dramatic fashion by consuming 66 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes.

I can vividly remember the day in the office when I discovered her little brother’s vocation — competitive eating. It was one of those office situations where you’re just standing around and talking about nothing, and the issue of eating large quantities of White Castle burgers came up.

One of the guys said, “Well, you know about Mary’s [not her real name] brother, right?”

Nope.

“Oh, he’s the guy who beat the Japanese kid at the July 4th hot dog contest last year.”

So, this year, I was sure to tune in to root strongly for Joey Chestnut, who surely held the hopes and dreams of Americans everywhere. And it was — and I’m not kidding — kind of exciting. I watched the thing in a sports bar and had told a couple of people that I knew the sister of the defending champion. And since people seem to get some sort of perverse enjoyment out of watching this competition, and they now had someone to root for, the bar was filled with cries of “C’mon, Joey!”

It was actually pretty cool.

Joey and Kobayashi were neck and neck most of the way (or, if you forgive me, gullet and gullet) and ended up in a tie with 59 dogs and buns consumed after 10 minutes (reduced from last year). That resulted in a five-dog eat-off, which AOL.Sports.com referred to as an “epic battle.” See here. Joey won the eat-off.

I had sent a text message to the woman from work to wish her brother luck, and after the win, she replied thusly:

“Whew … that was close. Once Kobayashi pulled ahead, I thought it was over, but when it went into OT, I knew Joey would win. His mouth is way bigger than Koby’s.”

It goes without saying that I will not meet Franklin, Jefferson, Washington, Adams or any other Founding Fathers — except perhaps in the afterlife. But, on this July 4th, I am one degree away from the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog eating champ.

Go, Joey!