Honoring those who died at Virginia Tech: Is it still necessary?
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Don’t get me wrong — what happened last year was a tragedy of epic proportions and it will always be remembered and prayers of comfort for families and friends will always be offered.
But with tomorrow’s anniversary of the Tech tragedy now upon us, and a statewide moment of silence with the tolling of bells planned, I’m to the point where I have to ask: how many remembrances must there be?
Governor Timothy M. Kaine is calling for a day of remembrance tomorrow, Wednesday, April 16, 2008, to honor those lost one year ago at Virginia Tech. He will order state flags flown at half-staff for the day and asks for a statewide moment of silence at noon followed by a statewide tolling of bells.
Vigils have been held. Sporting events have been played. Honors have been bestowed. Shouldn’t we let the families and friends alone to their grief and coping as opposed to opening the wounds fresh every time there is an anniversary or an opportunity for public display?
If the university itself wants to hold another event, so be it. I’m sure there will be calls for remembrances for at least as long as the freshman class of last year is there.
But why a statewide remembrance?
I wonder how much of this is actually meant to honor the victims and how much of it is for us to show how good we can feel about ourselves (or how much we can say we give when we’ve actually done little to correct the problems leading to the tragedy or otherwise).
Or, is this remembrance indicative of something else in our psyche?
How many times did the nation or the commonwealth of Virginia, honor the seventeen Sailors who were based here that were lost in the COLE bombing? How many times have we paid tribute to those Virginians who have died in Iraq? Afghanistan? I know — Memorial Day. But still….
Do we toll the bells for everyone who lost their lives last year on Virginia roads due to alcohol-related fatalities? How about for patients who died because of a doctor’s medical negligence? Is there a day to honor these victims? What of the thousands of aborted babies last year? Will there be somber prayers and speeches given tomorrow on their behalf? What about those who perished last year in gang- or drug-related killings? Certainly we’re prepared to give a few moments to remember them?
So, I guess my question is this — why, other than the fact that this was a shocking tragedy, does this dreadful event merit perpetual ceremony while others are placed in the dustbin of the forgotten?
I agree. I have had enough vigils for one lifetime, but we keep having these folks who go nuts and kill a bunch of people. The citizens have come to expect some sort of group memorial service and later on, a remembrance of some sort. However tiresome it may seem, these observances, in a way, confirm that we still have an undercurrent of humanity running through our population.
I still would like to see some of the academics at Tech held accountable for pushing Seung Hui Cho over the edge. Had Cho been encouraged to channel his anger through his writing, like Edgar Allen Poe, this might have never happened. Instead, the lesbian English instructor, who was angered by Cho’s writings that in some cases, exhibited scenes of violence toward women, purposely ostracized Cho and it became public knowledge that he had been labled as a “Psycho” by the Administration.
Anyone who knows Asian culture, knows that making an Asian man, “lose face” even in our modern times, is still likely to provoke an angry and even a violent response.
Had the faculty at Tech been more culturally aware and tolerant, Cho’s behavior could have been channeled into positive pursuits. When he needed a friend, he was shunned by his fellow Tech students because he had been made a pariah by the Administration’s overreaction to his writings.
One lesson that I hope that is learned from the Tech case is not that we should label people as nuts, then lock them away, but that many people live and work among us and these folks have perhaps have lost, or never had a social network of friends. If just one person reaches out to one of these lonely citizens, perhaps some of the troubles that these loners are shouldering can become lighter.
In the book, Why They Kill, the author describes that often the single thing that stops someone from murder is the memory of a kind voice, with a few encouraging words. Someone like Cho, no doubt searched his memory and found only angry voices of his lesbian English teacher and taunts from some of his immature peers. One kind voice saying, “You know, some very famous writers wrote about dark subjects, Cho, perhaps you will become a famous writer one day” such a comment could have made all of the difference.
WTF does Nikki Giovanni’s sexual orientation have to do with anything?
Each day, each second, the families remember. Is an annual rememberance too much?
I agree that other events like Cole are lost in the mix, but two wrongs…
It’s fake remembrance.
See how big the 9/11 ceremony is this year compared to years past.
We want to go boo-hoo and show public displays of remorse to make us all feel better about ourselves and show how much we care.
Yet, in the long run, we do little to address the problems that caused the tragedy or aid in the “healing” process.
And, it hasn’t been an “annual” remembrance.
The Yankees came and played a game there a couple weeks ago, there were remembrances at basketball games and football games, there were vigils, mass ceremonies, etc.
It’s a terrible tragedy — I never said otherwise. And it should be remembered. I even said so. Prayers should be offered to the families and friends for healing and comfort. Absolutely.
But these public displays for display’s sake strike me as phony.
32 people are dead, and it’s terrible. But yesterday four more soldiers and Marines were killed. Statistically, nine people drowned. How many abortions took place yesterday? How many people succombed to cancer? Heart disease? Car crashes?
Death happens every day. Why do we have to give the Cho’s of the world more reason to perpetuate their crimes by seeing it glorified time and time again?
For the record, I have never been to any sort of “vigil,” so perhaps I’m too old fashioned, but to me the sort of proliferation of public displays of grief over the past several years seems offensive. It’s s cheap way for everyone to join the therapy and feel better about themselves. I personally find it somewhat obscene–grief pornography, as it were–when TV cameras and other photographers always seem to find someone crying and holding a candle, and then feel compelled to foist that image on the rest of us so that we can then ostensibly share in their pain/comfort/healing/whatever, when in fact we have no business sharing in it. Was the VT shooting tragic and awful, and is it now worthy of some sort of remembrance? Of course. But for society-at-large to pretend to be close enough to that tragedy to share in the grief is self-absorbed pitymongering, and demeaning to those whose lives were truly shattered by the ordeal of that day.
In our PC world we must “remember” the horrific times of the past or we are un-caring, out of touch or worse! Tragedies happen every day all over the world, some preventable (like Va Tech, 911, the Cole and many others) and many more simply situations beyond anyone’s control. All of this smacks of the same thing as a magnet on your car saying “Support our Troops”. Nice sentiment, but it doesn’t rally mean or do anything!
Instead of having moments of silence, vigils or other events maybe it is time our elected officials to start actually doing something to provide funding, eliminate ridiculous laws preventing action or golly gee –take a pro-active stance on SOMETHING!
JR,
I am so proud of you! I feel that you have finally and completely joined me on the pessimistic, er, realistic side of viewing life!
My work here is done
My guess is those not seeing the value of the remembrances/vigils have no connection to Va Tech.
John B. Harvie
Virginia Beach
Physics 1950